Thursday, April 5, 2007

*exit this world. enter the next*

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quick update. i fell asleep after my first class and woke up at 2 pm. so i am late on my schedule for the day.
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actually, the most important thing to say is that i finally figured out why SG is such a fucking big deal. because i need all the love i can get, and i get a lot of love from that website, even not being an SG.
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some people know it. my ex did. my Master doesnt seem to care.
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which probably explains why i feel so lonely these days:
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i had no idea of how hard i was working to convince myself i am happy.
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being happy is an ambition i havent been giving much attention to. but i must run now.
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i have put my entire life on hold for this surgery, as if it had magical powers or something. as if something told me things would all fix themselves after it.
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i'll respect that instinct. but i will sort things out up to the end of this month. it will have been a year by may 1st. As far as i know it, there is no turning back for me. i already have a slave tattoo, even without the branding. But there are a lot of "if's" and "but's" down this road, darling dear.
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give me love here, so then i'll spend more time using this blog!
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