Tuesday, January 29, 2008

*4 days...*

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... till Sunday. Till 26. i have no plans, haven't shopped for new clothes, haven't scheduled a manicure or a hair cut... no expectations, no excitement. Nothing. Guess i'm not feeling very festive. Or sad. Or anything at all.
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It's that type of minor sadness, that doesn't hurt. It doesn't let anything hurt. It just won't let you feel. The type of minor sadness that makes food tasteless, life monochrome and mute. I'm not sad.
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But i'm not alive either.
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26. Maybe i should get myself a better anti-age cream instead of (hopefully) spending money on a new tattoo.
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Should i face that i am no longer a girl? But i don't feel like a woman should. Not as i thought it was, at least. Feeling like nothing is not a comfortable position.
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And it rains... Endlessly... Enough to dampen one's spirit and turn the world into a gray blurry mess.
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4 more days to start feeling alive.
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He doesn't understand why i want a pet so badly. A puppy, a kitten, a rabbit, even a hamster. But it is that i only feel this way... this sadness... when i am alone. Around others i am always cheerful and talkative and fun... like a pet. But i am bad company to myself.
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Even though music may keep me company, i feel very very lonely sometimes.
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well, enough wining. One more "cuia" of "yerba mate", and then i am off to dance class.
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Don't you love engrish? i mean, who eats chocolate filled cookies named "collon"?



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mood: chinched
craving: beet soup
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