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You know when you should be like, really happy but you're not. Thats me, today. But an update is long overdue, so be it.
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i should be happy. Rejoicing. i'm live, finally, on SG. Yay... i guess the surge of hypomania just finished wearing off. Damn, i felt so good yesterday.
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i have a brand new schedule. My saturday afternoons are free for the next two months. But i had to choose to wake up early 5 days a week in order to have that free time. i have 7 groups for this module. Guess my paychecks won't be so depressing, for a while.
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Saturdays... dunno what to say about them.

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Last Sunday was painful in the sense that we put my genital rings back in...
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(dunno if i posted about this. I was supposed to have an MRI of both knees done last wednesday, but after removing my 16 piercings found out i couldn't because my most recent tattoo is one month old. It must be at least 3. That day was particularly painful - including fainting spells - taking me 1,5 hours to get 7 piercings back in. The lip ring is no more, and i miss it terribly. My mouth is chaos now because i'm sleeping with this a silicone piece to relief the tension in my jaw so it will be a while for it to heal for me to get it re-done. i've been biting my lip madly, to make matters worse, as the muscles were used to the ring and are finding it hard to readjust.)
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... and a couple of the labia piercings were closing already, so it was painful to put them back in. Just for those who saw my set and were wondering, i have a small captive ring on my clit hood and a ladder on my outer labia, consisting of 6 captive rings total. i'm planning on 3 more for that region, but i'm letting these heal first.
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Sunday was Mercado Mundo Mix. Dulce was there, so it was fun. i ended up buying nothing for myself, but i got a t-shirt for the Mister. i have this thing about buying stuff i can make myself... i usually dont. Yeah, i know. i'm cheap.
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i love my set. i'm happy with all the good feedback and the comments, and people wanting to be my friends. Thats all very nice. i hope i can live up to the hype now, that its all going on. Anyways, thanks.

one of my favorites from this set.i miss that hair. My hair is sooo long (for my standards) right now i have no idea of what to do with it.
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This week was basically "wasted" on Heroes. i've got brown circles around my eyes from watching 5 episodes per night, every night. Me and the Mister. And i started season two today. But Nakamura Hiro is just so cute, and i really want to watch more.
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That means everything is a mess. Chaos has devoured the apartment and i just can't motivate myself to clean up. And mess is depressing. i don't eat right in a mess. Notice the vicious cycle?
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Honestly, i can't remember a week i have eaten properly since i left my ex. She was a mother figure, and if there is one thing i need is someone to take care of me. Because i suck at it.
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That being said, i gained 4 kg this month. 2 this week, as i have been basically spending days without food and binging on chocolate and icecream at night.
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And as everything is connected, that takes us back to my orthopedist. i visited him today. He has me on 10 mg meloxicam, 20 mg famotidine, 300 mg paracetamol, 2.5 mg cyclobenzaprine, once every 12 hours. i'm glad i'm almost out and the current prescription is for acupuncture, because i'm blaming the cyclobenzaprine for the lousy past weeks.
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Everything is connected. i exercise, but i definitely don't have good sleep and eating patterns. The muscular pain? Oxidative stress, maybe fibromyalgia. Let's hope its not. Because i'm starting to walk like Ozzy when i first get up in the morning. NOT SEXY. And my dislexia is worse. Much worse. (Pops in another tablet of Centrum).
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i WANT to feel happy. Lets hope the doctor i'm going to next week isn't some freaky old fart with his head up his ass frowning on me for my lifestyle. i'm happy with my lifestyle. Being HIS pet makes me feel safe and feeling safe is very important for my well-being. i just want to be well, not different. And i hope he speaks english. Because i have a terrible time speaking of whatever really matters in portuguese.
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Oh well, whatever. i just took one of those pain killers so i'm just gonna lay back and try to think of a happier tomorrow. One where my skin is just a little bit thicker or people have become a tad nicer.

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Happy thoughts:
- i made cute undies this week at sewing class. And i'm almost done with that course, which will mean my wednesdays will be a lot easier on me.

- my dance teachers trust me to design the costumes for the presentations the school will be involved with. How cool is that?
- i went kind of kogal/decora today. And bought cute things. Plus i had junk food for lunch with my friends at the mall.
- it was cold enough to wear my sg thermal shirt for the first time. And it went awesome with pink legwarmers.
- Things could be worse. A lot worse. Been there, done that. i know it.
- i got 10 more episodes of Heroes to watch. And a dance mat.
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mood: dysthymic. Again.
now playing: self-centered - bowling for soup

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Close your eyes. This is how i wish i felt.

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P.s.2: Happy St. Patricks Weekend. i really wanna go fubar this weekend.

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