Monday, October 24, 2011

29 going on 16

The past 10 days were odd. Fun, exhausting, strange. I'm still digesting the events and trying to get a hang of life...


Also, not having internet at home for the past 5 days has fucked me up. I blame the housemate on that one. Gonna sort it out asap.

Seriously, for someone who also works from home, responding "Sucks for you", when I complained about the lack of connection was just plain evil. Karma... honey, karma.

Now that I got a shitton of stuff off my chest, lets see if my writers block leaves me.

Friday, October 14, 2011

*Almost 4 months*

*
4 full months on the 17th. And the world hasn't stopped spinning (except for a few breathtaking moments).
.
Yeah, I miss you. We had a few more good years ahead of us if you hadn't been... well, you. It was great. And then it wasn't.
.
You couldn't have expected any other outcome. I am the purest cliché of an aquarian. You asked me to choose between the unconventional and every so often smothering relationship we had and my criative career and passions which include working with my best friend.
.
So here I am. It didn't have to have been the way it was. It didn't need to get so ugly. But it did. And I'm ok. Most of the time.
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The Yom Kippur fast did me good. Most of the resentment is gone. You should try it next year. You need it.
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Have a good life. Here's hoping you can find someone who can actually survive on the crumbs of attention you dish out.
*

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

*it get's better, doesn't it?*

*
It has to... I know it could be worse. I'm lucky my fever and cold last month didn't develop into something more serious... I'm lucky that when I tripped and fell last Saturday I didn't break the glass table I tripped over, and just twisted my ankle. 
But I'm upset and angry right now.
.
Angry at myself for being too tired to get my work done.
Angry that my nails are gross because I haven't had the time or energy to do them myself
Angry my phone won't work, again, and I can't afford a new one. Or even to get it fixed.
Angry that while I am counting pennies to take the bus to college and already owe the bank money, the ex is doing fine
Angry at myself for not getting a lawyer and settling our separation so that I won't be in a fix
I hate this crap.
And I'm angry the schools I'm waiting to call me to work haven't yet because it's the middle of the module.
.
Gonna try to get some work done. As soon as I eat (ramen) and rest a bit.
.

I know, I know... It get's better.

(And here is a sketch of me, and some photos from the last dress I made for Dr. Sketchy's...)


.
.
.
But right now it hurts.
*